I ended up getting for my bfs birthday headphones that would change the songs on an ipod touch, and Plants vs Zombies for Xbox 360. I didnt have any wrapping paper so I wrapped it in really girly pink paper that says "go girl" on it. He has a slightly addictive personality, and he loves zombies, so naturally he already that is already well aware of the Plants vs Zombies internet games. He is also addicted to Conquer Club online risk, and has been in recovery from Utopia for a couple years.
I wasn't sure if I was going to write about this subject or not because it is very personal and intimate, not only to me but to others in my personal life, and I didn't want it to be interpreted as just negative venting, it is meant to be critical, but in the most loving and supportive way. I have been trying to put off writing this post, even though I have wanted to start it a lot over the last few days. I have put it off because I want it to be written perfectly, so that the reader does not want to stop reading, so that the reader will really allow the words to sink in and be understood without a doubt and without any uncomfortable associations.
Already, readers can tell that I am hesitant. I feel I must choose delicate terms and kind words, or face the rejection of a sensitive audience. But I need also be direct and firm, leave no gray area to scoot around, not room for excuses or misinterpretation. So I guess I will jump right in and see where this goes, and try to ignore whatever it is that holds me back, be it that I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings or offend anyone, I need to put those things aside and stand be understood, because sometimes it is necessary to hurt others so they will stop hurting you.
Its my mans birthday at the beginning of February and I wasn't sure what to get for him. He got an ipod for Christmas and wanted some accessories for it, such as a case and protective plastic for the screen but he already got those things. He also asked me for headphones that you can change the songs on the cord so that he doesnt have to get his ipod out of his pocket every time he wants to change a song. I think they have those for the shuffle but Im not sure about anything else.
He doesnt have any pictures of me in his room or our pets. He doesnt have a camera (not that he would want one).. and he doesnt have many pictures of us or me saved on his computer. In the past he has thought of buying me and his sister digital photo frames, I told him not to get one for me because I can just put my pictures as my screen saver on my laptop and it will go through them, also I have so many pictures saved I can just go and look at them on my own if I want, or put them on my ps3 or something. ( I still have to figure out how to do that)..
So I have decided to take a trip to bestbuy today and look for the headphones he wants and the prices on digital frames for him. I think it would be a really good purchase since he goes all week without seeing our cats or me. I know if I asked him if he wanted one that he probably wouldnt think he does, but once he has it I think he will really appreciate it. Besides, he has EVERYTHING else.
Also, I might get my little sister a new laptop case, she needs one for school and asked for one for her birthday, which happens to be the day after my bfs. And I would like an interval timer. Everything is sold at bestbuy so it works out nicely.
So my older sister has always been interested in piercings, and she is 6 years older than me, so when I was 16 I wanted a piercing for my birthday. I wanted something different and got the bottom of my navel pierced.
The other day, I ordered pizza for my family and on the way to pick it up , I stopped in to get cat food for the barn cats and my cats at home. I really like the lady who works at/ owns the pet store. She has remembered me from the first time we talked and always greets me warmly when I come in to make purchases and visit. She is a member of Niagara Action for Animals and saves and rehomes cats. She has given me a lot of advice in regards to the barn cats and has jokingly said she is going to install a bar in the back of her pet store for all the conversations and venting we've had.
When I stopped in the other night, as I was leaving, I asked her if she was looking to hire anyone, and when she does to keep me in mind. She told me (rather secretively) that she is moving her store and expanding. She is moving two doors down and is combining with a groomer and something else, and that at this time she will need to hire more people. She knows I milk cows and Im sure she could get me on day shifts so it doesnt interfere with my other job. It would also be only a 20 minute or so drive and I might get discounts on the store products which, would be great since I buy almost exclusively from this store. I am going to write up a resume detailing my experience with animals and hand it to her directly, I dont think she knows my name so this would be a way to ensure she knows its from me.
Im very excited to get a second job because I had one in the summer and the extra money was great. I made an extra 200 every two weeks, on top of my 300 every ten days from the barn. When I quit there I really felt the strain and I have been struggling to put money away since then. Now that my bf and I have started making plans to buy a house in December, having some extra cash to put towards school will be good. I also want to learn Kung Fu really bad, even though I have yet to find a close place to learn it, the question of if I can afford it will be easier answered.
A few weeks ago, my bf and I were watching The King of Queens, and in the episode, they went to pick up their developed pictures from the store and ended up getting the Hoffernans instead of the Heffernans. They looked through the pictures while sitting lazily at home on a Saturday night, and in the photos, the Hoffernans were doing a variety of activities. They were hiking, cooking in lengerie, boating, mountain climbing, going on awesome vacations, etc etc. At the time of seeing the episode, I felt like the heffernans, bored and lazy, and today, I think my bf and I are well on our way to being the Hoffernans. He is already active and fit and sexy, and I feel well on my way to being in a position that others (not that I really care that much) will admire. I have been working out almost every day and my healthy eating choices have been going well too. I have had a couple slips, but its hard to change in one day, I dont think anyone can change their whole diet in a day. So far I think I have been doing very well and I am looking forward to the future.
So, today was not a very good day for me. Not yet anyway, good thing its not over. I am trying to get into a regime, a pattern each day that I follow so that it will be easier for me to keep exercising, eating healthy, and doing productive activities. However, it has been pretty hard just to get the basics down. I am trying to start with small changes that matter most to me, and then make further changes once Ive gotten used to the first ones. But laying the foundation of change is proving much more difficult than I imagined. I didn't think it would be so hard to make conscious decisions regarding food. Temptation takes over and before you know it Im over my calorie limit and haven't even gotten to the healthy foods that I am wanting to include in my diet every day. Also, working out every day to burn off my chub isn't going exactly as well as I had planned. I wanted to do a workout in the morning, after I had breakfast, just a short one that gave me some good energy for the day, and then a second one after I got home from work in the evening since this is when I have the most energy throughout the day. So far I have only been doing one workout at night and I struggle to get into it. Once I am going it is easy, but to get started is hard.
I have found a martial arts place near me that teaches Kung Fu, it is actually called "Niagara Kung Fu" and Im interested in starting some lessons, or at least doing a trial deal or something. Im worried about spending the money though and driving there alone. I know I am just making excuses but I don't want to have it cause problems in other areas in my life, such as my savings for college. I also am a fairly new driver, with a fairly shitty car that is on its last legs. The drive takes me on the highway and it is about 40 to get there. I should try it before I toss the idea though, Im just nervous and get worked up over nothing.
On a side note, I have been looking for a second job. My mom is on my case about moving out, but I am just not in the position to rent or get a mortgage. I technically don't even have a job, since I work under the table, so getting a mortgage is totally out of the question, and I have virtually no credit. So, I have been looking for a day job. The job I have now is in the evening, and I have had a second job with this one before but I quit because I couldn't stand it. I used to wash dishes at a retirement home, the ladies were nice, but my boss was ridiculously religious, and I, being an atheist, was personally insulted and disagreed with almost every view she had of the world. She was still very nice, but it was often uncomfortable and I always had to watch what I said. I also was having my hands get ruined by bleach since they didnt have any gloves smaller than medium, and they were starting to make schedule changes that would conflict with my evening job, which I was not willing to compromise.
So yes, as I wrote, I am looking for a second job to help pay for things like Kung Fu. I have little to no experience other than farm work. I am good at a lot of things and a quick learner, but the kind of job I would get would be a mindless one. I would ideally like to find more farm labor, there are a lot of dairy and horse farms in the Niagara Region, I just have to let them know I am here and looking for them to hire me. But anyway. I guess that is all for now.
I have difficulty getting to sleep at night, especially if I try before 11:00. I get most of my energy in the late evening, I get excited to learn things, motivated to work out and intrigued to explore the net. But when its time to get up in the morning, I feel heavy and nothing is interesting enough to get me going. I have my alarm set for 5:00 am (the same time that I get up for work on the weekends) and I have it across my room so I have to get up to turn it off.
Thismorning, after I turned off my alarm and got back into bed, I work up to a sound that will get me up and awake in seconds, it was the sound of my dear cat Muffin, swallowing loudly, as she does when she is about to puke. Without any hesitation or second thought I jumped up and got her off my bed. I don't mind if she pukes on the floor because it is much easier to clean up than on the carpet or bed. BTW it is natural and common for cats to vomit and this should not be seen as something wrong with your cat. After I put her on the floor I fed her and Sora and left the room.
I tried to go without having a coffee. For breakfast I had leftover turkey, turnip and some gravy. When my mom got up and offered to make coffee I could't refuse. It is now 10:30 and I already have my workout picked out, but I am procrastinating. I have laundry to do, groceries to buy, and I need a shower like two days ago.
I know this blog is bland and boring today, so far at least, I am just trying to get in the habit of writing in it everyday when I have time.
Now that I am done my breakfast and coffee and have nothing else to do but carry on with the rest of my to do list, I am going to try to get as much done without taking a break.
Hasta luego!
As a new years resolution, not solely but as part of my resolution, I wanted to start 'Blogging'. I think that blogging will be a good tool for me to use to vent and rant without restrain. However, I don't know where to start. I have a lot of topics to write about but I don't feel comfortable just jumping in. I care about giving an impression that is accurate and clear of who I am, and so near the beginning I feel like I want to be careful to give an overall image instead of focusing on one topic. I guess a lot of people struggle with this type of stuff when they are starting a personal blog.
Im still not sure how I feel about the template Ive chosen, I have a vague idea of what I would like to accomplish with this blog. I feel like Ive never had any friends, especially ones who like to talk, and I would like to share ideas on here and get some feedback. Like a conversation with the world, well, with a handful of minds from the world anyway. I think blogging for me will also be educational in the sense that, when Im frustrated about something I saw on the news or heard someone talking about politics or something I don't fully understand, before writing about it I will probably read into it further before making a fool of myself.
While I was at work today, I thought about writing about the most common topics on my mind for this particular day. Lately, my weight has been on my mind. Well, its been on my mind ever since I grew old enough to be self conscious. Im not fat, but I do have extra weight. When I think of what I feel like I look like, I imagine in my mind a lean, toned genderless person. Strong in mind and body. But Im definitely not in very good shape. Im healthy, but would struggle to keep running for more than 3 minutes. My most dominant resolution is to get fit. I started working out, following videos by Zuzana of http://www.bodyrock.tv/ . Her videos range from circuit training to healthy eating. I instantly became addicted to this girl, she is such an inspiration and I have been doing at least one of her workouts every day. Even thought I don't see any differences yet, I feel more endurance at work and I feel happier over all because I am accomplishing something. I have started doing some additional research on healthy eating, and have already made some changes to my diet. The only thing I haven't even tried to give up is my coffee. I am absolutely addicted and the thought of letting it go is a difficult and unrealistic one for me. I just love it. lol I use crest white strips to counter the caffeine stains on my teeth, if I would just quit coffee I could save that money. Oh well.
Another thing that is pretty much always on my mind, is what the future holds for me. I am not a believer in fate or karma or destiny. I know that my future is in my hands. That even thought there are external influences, in the end every choice I make is my choice to make. I have applied to college, but am not entirely sure of what exactly I am most interested in pursuing as a career.
I did poorly throughout elementary school and highschool. I had no vision of the future and no motivation to learn. No interest or discipline. I didn't think about the consequences and it has really come back to bite me in the ass. I am now trying to make the best of what I have. I am interested in a wide range of fields and feel that no matter what I choose I will not quit, and that the people I meet along the way will make at the very least tolerable. I will go into further detail on this subject another time in its own entry.
I feel like I'm forcing things out of my head that I haven't full thought out. So I'm going to take a break and leave my first post as it is. I need to take some time to develop some of these thoughts further so that when I try to share them they will come out easier and in a more structured format.
