Todays Reflection

So, today was not a very good day for me. Not yet anyway, good thing its not over. I am trying to get into a regime, a pattern each day that I follow so that it will be easier for me to keep exercising, eating healthy, and doing productive activities. However, it has been pretty hard just to get the basics down. I am trying to start with small changes that matter most to me, and then make further changes once Ive gotten used to the first ones. But laying the foundation of change is proving much more difficult than I imagined. I didn't think it would be so hard to make conscious decisions regarding food. Temptation takes over and before you know it Im over my calorie limit and haven't even gotten to the healthy foods that I am wanting to include in my diet every day. Also, working out every day to burn off my chub isn't going exactly as well as I had planned. I wanted to do a workout in the morning, after I had breakfast, just a short one that gave me some good energy for the day, and then a second one after I got home from work in the evening since this is when I have the most energy throughout the day. So far I have only been doing one workout at night and I struggle to get into it. Once I am going it is easy, but to get started is hard.

I have found a martial arts place near me that teaches Kung Fu,  it is actually called "Niagara Kung Fu" and Im interested in starting some lessons, or at least doing a trial deal or something. Im worried about spending the money though and driving there alone. I know I am just making excuses but I don't want to have it cause problems in other areas in my life, such as my savings for college. I also am a fairly new driver, with a fairly shitty car that is on its last legs. The drive takes me on the highway and it is about 40 to get there. I should try it before I toss the idea though, Im just nervous and get worked up over nothing.

On a side note, I have been looking for a second job. My mom is on my case about moving out, but I am just not in the position to rent or get a mortgage. I technically don't even have a job, since I work under the table, so getting a mortgage is totally out of the question, and I have virtually no credit. So, I have been looking for a day job. The job I have now is in the evening, and I have had a second job with this one before but I quit because I couldn't stand it. I used to wash dishes at a retirement home, the ladies were nice, but my boss was ridiculously religious, and I, being an atheist, was personally insulted and disagreed with almost every view she had of the world. She was still very nice, but it was often uncomfortable and I always had to watch what I said. I also was having my hands get ruined by bleach since they didnt have any gloves smaller than medium, and they were starting to make schedule changes that would conflict with my evening job, which I was not willing to compromise.

So yes, as I wrote, I am looking for a second job to help pay for things like Kung Fu. I have little to no experience other than farm work. I am good at a lot of things and a quick learner, but the kind of job I would get would be a mindless one. I would ideally like to find more farm labor, there are a lot of dairy and horse farms in the Niagara Region, I just have to let them know I am here and looking for them to hire me. But anyway.  I guess that is all for now.